XUEER2007 发表于 2009-2-17 05:47   全显示 1楼

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我自认为你这篇文章写的很不错，虽然你说是第一次写作，我觉得已经很好了，你看肯定也花了不少心思在它上面！你文章里面对情趣内衣的认识，我觉得你就是那个高级内衣设计师，你的描述完全是专业的，还有，你对老板那种少妇的身体特征描写，简直发挥的淋漓尽致，，使人看了比较有真实感，这些你都是成功的，不过你以后可以在性爱的细节方面再仔细一点，深入一些，可以加一点做爱时的呻吟。总体不错。我们色友支持你,期待你的下一次发贴---
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  • 吾夜 金币 +10 鼓励认真回复，转帖区欢迎你！ 2009-2-17 09:50
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